I'm just going to cut to the chase. I woke up this morning, took a piss, went to grab some toilet paper and a G-d damn giant roach falls from the roll onto the floor. After staring in disbelief at the roach flailing about on its back for a good minute, I manned up, scooped it up with a tissue and flushed it down the toilet. Luckily, I haven't seen any of the roach's family members back for revenge.
